10 joke to make your day

1. You think everything is scary ehn. Have you ever gone to urinate in the night and you found out you're urinating on snake.
2. My brother, and you be doing like Jesus Christ for this girl. My brother pls when I release my dog to chase don't run oooo......... Thank me later
3. Some girls will barb their hair just to look like chidimma and end up looking like Emmanuella.
4. My friend went to Europe for few months then you return and you're now light in complexion and we ask why and you say its the weather, my broda do you know how long pogba and kante have been living there?? Ask Da Craziest Da Craziest Da Craziest
5. I was shocked at the ATM today. After withdrawing money, the ATM asked 'Anything for the boy'
6. So just because you're a virgin you won't let us hear word now...... No company will love to employ a non experienced person. Simple!!!
.
7. I used to think jet-li movies were fake until one day I saw a cobra in my compound... I ran.... My leg didn't touch the ground.
8. Some people don't have spirit ofn forgiveness at all, How can you sweep your room and use your Ex' picture as paker.
9. No man should look at another man's eye when eating banana.
10. May our parents never be absent when we become very successful .... Can I get an AMEN

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Aboki okada riders with their problem

Instead of all these Aboki Okada riders to tell you they don't know the place you are going, they will just call price for you. So I decided to teach one of them a lesson.
ME: Bike, Bike, you dey go?
ABOKI: Oga where I dey go?
ME: Australia, How much?
ABOKI: Kai! Oga how much I go pay?
ME: You tell me how much u go collect na..
Aboki: ₦300 Oga!
ME: Ha? Australia no far na, no be ₦100?
Aboki: I know the place Oga, pay ₦200 gaskia!
ME: (try to leave him) Oya make we go...***Starts Bike***
Since 2 hours on bike, we are still on our way to Australia.....Aboki don drive round town and I'm enjoying the ride.
ABOKI: Oga, I neva reach?
ME: No ooo! E remain small; but you say you know the place?
ABOKI: Yes I know am Oga, I dey for front but your money I don pass ₦200.
ME: No wàhálà, I go Add ₦20 ... Just continue...
I go gist una how e end. But not now sha, we still dey road. Today, I must reach Australia with ₦220.

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laugh out loud

joke joke...i was walkin along maryland road
goin to a frnd house..when suddenly
behold..dis beautiful damsel..sittin at d
corner of a shop..singin nd playin a
piano..wow voice so lovely nd sweet like an
angel of rose..wow her eyes closed
shot.bringin out inspiration..smiles on her
face..wow no time let me make a move to
her..so i go close to her..nd say hello..she
open her eyes nd look at me wit a glimpse
of smiles..den i sed to her u realy gorgeous
nd cute..hw abt makin a cool sound like do
remy lafiso.wit d wonderful piano..she
smiled at me..nd ask me.do i play piano..i lied
to her yes i culd..i even won an award at d
edition of a celebrity..chai..i don burst her
head...she smiled at me nd sed wow..she
introduce her self sayin she is angela..wow
as a warri boy..sharp sharp i told her am
JP..we shock hand..nd she sed to me.dat she
will b performing on stage d followin
saturday nd want me to b der..wow i
promise her i wil b der..not knowin my
village people are laffin at me..so i went
home..wit a smile..sayin to my self..av catch a
fish...on dat faithfull day i dress on my best
outfit smiling nd feelin happy..dat am goin
to watch my new fish perform..nd i go chop
kiss..nt knowin JP dea go inside village
trap...when i got to the place she wanted to
perform..she saw me nd was very hapy i
came..she even pecks me..wow JP weldne..so
she took me in nd offer me a sit..den she ran
quickly up d stage..nd say..lsdies nd gentle
men..am hapy to sing dis song by jhon
legend titled all of me...nd now am calling a
gud frnd of mine to com out nd perform wit
me on d stage..nd his name is JP..every one
includin me stood up..clappin we all clap clap
for almost 5 mins expectin JP to com up d
stage bt no sign of him..wen suddenly i hear
her callin to me..JP JP ..u ar the one..chisos
chineke..am in trouble..when i got up d
stage she wisperd to me..that i shuld play
the piano for jhon legend..chai..my village
pipul..y na y dis yy..is dis how i will disgrace
my self..have never touch a piano bfor
talkless
of playin it..chai..all eyes on me..so she sed JP
oya na start..i sat down looking at d piano
buttons like mumu..wher did i wan to start
from..i started sweatin like a goat.i touch a
buton nd it makes a sound like a
cat.meow..chai..hw dos dis one start jhn
legend.all of me..i press anoda it sounds like
a train.pooo.yeee i don die..seee sweat for
my body..d gurl shout at me nd say i shuld
play it nw.y embarrasin her..i touch anoder
button it sounds like a sound of pot..yee jhn
legend go dea vex wit me self..wit anger nd
shame..d gurl ran off d stage..i was still
looking at d piano..when two hefty huge big
men.came up to me nd cary me up like a bag
of cement..took me outside nd gave me so
many numbers of unforgetfull slap...jesus
thank God its a dream..i survive...lolz.gud day
all....

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Who among these 3 drunkards is more drunk?

*1. After drinking he* *went inside the
hotel's** *rest room to urinate and on
entering**the* *toilet*, he* *saw the
reflection of* *himself on the mirror* *and
shouted* *"Oh, sorry, somebody is even
here".*
*OR*
*2. After drinking, he got up and started
searching for his phone all around. He puts
on the phones' torch light* *(the one*
*he is looking for) to enable him look for
the
phone and in the* *process the same
phone
rang, he picked* *up and answered*
*"please call me back,* *I'm looking for
my*
*phone "*
*OR*
*3. After drinking, he entered his car and
drove off, on getting to the major road, he
saw Dangote's trailer that has been there
for three years, he quietly went and park
behind the trailer, after three hours, he
started shouting*
*"What kind of Go slow is this sef?"...
thinking he was in a traffic jam.*
.. Don't laugh too much ooooo

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